Improving and Correcting Sentences

Practice Questions

SAT Writing › Improving and Correcting Sentences

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1 One of America’s most inflammatory early disasters, the Johnstown Flood. 2 It was occurring in 1889 after the collapse of the South Fork Dam in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. 3 Heavy rainfall invigorated a reservoir upriver, causing the dam to burst and more than 20 million tons of water pouring down the Conemaugh River. 4 The Johnstown Flood has been immortalized in poems, novels, songs, and films. 5 The committal flood killed more than 2,000 people and it required the attention of the American Red Cross, Clara Barton, and various lawsuits. 6 Compounding the disaster was the Stone Bridge, causing a fire that killed at least 80 people when burning debris caught fire. 7 Later people would fault the rich business tycoons who had weakened the reservoir for their own leisure, building cottages and a spillway along the dam to create the swarthy South Fork Fishing and Hunting Club.8 Nearly $4 million would be donated to relief funds, for Pennsylvanians the true horror never preceded.

In Sentence 1, what word should replace “inflammatory”?

2

1 Have you ever went hang gliding? 2 Sailing smoothly across the sky, hang gliders are a sight to behold and capture humans’ longstanding fascination with self propelled flight. 3 Whereas, it is also a dangerous pastime. 4 Personally, I know many people who are aware of the sport’s relative danger but still enjoy it on a regular basis. 5 With proper technical training and certification, it is possible to avoid some of the most common hang gliding catamounts, stalling near the ground, aerobatic stunts gone wrong, and failure to use helmets or parachutes.

7 In the United States, hang gliding is a relatively new sport and most hang gliders are wealthy and educated devotees. 8 Hang gliding actually originated in the 500s in China, with man-sized kites allowing people to sustain flight for short distances. 9 Continual advances in material technologies’ result in constantly improving hang glider equipment – specialized nylon parachutes and lightweight aluminum alloy frames, for example. 10 Popular hang gliding destinations in the United States include Salt Lake City, Utah, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and Jackson Hole, Wyoming. 11 The most ardent affiliates say there’s absolutely nothing like the joy of soaring miles above the ground for hours.

How should the tense error in Sentence 1 be corrected?

3

1 Unlike most languages, Esperanto was created artificially and not arrived naturally from other language’s evolution. 2 If you’ve ever traveled in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language, you’ll be familiar with the motives of the creators of Esperanto; a universal language constructed in 1887. 3 It was invented by the linguist L.L. Zamenhof, its name translating roughly to “the hopeful one,” and it was intended as a simple, neutral language that could transfer national differences and promote international harmony.

4 Implementing Esperanto, although, was more difficult than anticipated. 5 Yet more than two million people world-wide are fluent in Esperanto, far more are fluent in so-called global languages, such as English, Mandarin Chinese, Spanish, and Hindi. 6 Linguistically, Esperanto relies within a Latin alphabet and a grammar and vocabulary based primarily on Indo-European languages. 7 Luckily, free online resources, local clubs, and interminable school-sponsored instruction have kept this valuable linguistic experiment from dying out altogether.

In Sentence 2, what punctuation change needs to be made?

4

1 E.J. Bellocq, who was he? 2 Those outside the photography coterie may not have heard of him, but his life’s work inspired innumerable films and works of literature. 3 Born into a rich family in the French Quarter of New Orleans Bellocq made a living, taking official photographs of ships, machinery, and other commercial items for local companies. 4 As a result, he became known for his portraits of Chinatown opium dens, and prostitutes in Storyville, one of the seediest districts of early 20th century New Orleans.

5 Bellocq’s work is categorized by its attention to detail and its rich aesthetic sensibility. 6 In his personal life, he was known for being eccentric, unfriendly, partially crippled, and possibly insane. 7 In his veritable Storyville portraits, the women are nude or clothed, looking at or away from the camera, and posed reclining or standing up, revealing great versatility on Bellocq’s part. 8 Tragically many of his negatives and prints were destroyed or damaged by an uncertain hand (mostly likely his or his Jesuit brother).

In Sentence 1, what punctuation mark should replace the comma?

5

Adapted from "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine (1776)

These are the times that try mens souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is expense only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods. And it would be strange indeed if so heavenly an article as freedom should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to tax) but "to bind us in all cases whatsoever," and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, than is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth.

Replace the underlined portion of this sentence with a version that is clear, precise, and meets the requirements of standard written English.

6

1 The tornado, a dreaded meteorological phenomena and a verifiable force of nature. 2 But what is it really? 3 Also known as a twister or a cyclone, tornadoes are rapidly rotating funnels of air linked between a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water. 4 They are caused by the creation of strong thunderstorms by rotating columns of air, resultantly increased rainfall causes increased downward air movement. 5 Rather than the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale measures the strength of a tornado. 6 This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister. 7 And the 2014 “Into the Storm” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.” 8 The Fujita scale, also called the F-scale, was named after an employee at the University of Chicago and originally had 13 different levels.

How should Sentence 1 be rewritten?

7

1 Most of you probably know essays to be boring, tendentious assignments required for English class. 2 However the essay has a fascinating history.3 Did you know that the first known example of an essay came in the 16th-century? 4 Its author was Michel de Montaigne the French philosopher. 5 Today the genre includes such disparate types as the dialectic, the narrative, the critical, the historical, the descriptive, and the lyric essay. 6 The genre progressed with essays such as Robert Burton’s The Anatomy of Melancholy, Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s On Poesy or Art, and Virginia Woolf’s A Room of Her Own.” 7 It remains to be, see how the essay will evolve in the future.

How should Sentence 2 be rewritten?

8

1 W. Somerset Maugham was a proliferate and English author of more than two dozen books. 2 Born in 1874 and orphaned at a young age, also working as an ambulance driver in World War I and studying medicine in London. 3 Among his life he traveled in Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia, within other places, these experiences were also reflected in his writing. 4 His first novel, Liza of Lambeth, drew on these real-life experiences and became an instant bestseller, when it was published, in 1897. 5 One of Maugham’s most famous works, the American writer Theodore Dreiser gave a glowing review to the 1915 novel Of Human Bondage. 6 His legacy includes many plays, film adaptations, a tumultuous love life, an epigrammatic British literary award (the Somerset Maugham Award), and a steady if unexperimental oeuvre of fiction.

How should Sentence 2 be rewritten?

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1 You may not know Gerard Manley Hopkins was a famous English poet. 2 Hopkins led a complicated life as a Jesuit priest, converting to Roman Catholicism in 1866. 3 Born in 1844 the poet was excellent at sketching from an early age and attended the University of Oxford from 1863 to 1867, where he met poets Christina Rossetti, Robert Bridges, and others. 4 According to his personal diaries, Hopkins frequently struggled to repress homoerotic urges, adopting an ascetic lifestyle, many believing that this contributed to his writing. 5 His work itself is characterized by an escarpment of conventional poetic meter, the use of sprung rhythm, frequent vivid imagery, and a careful and creative use of language.6 Sprung rhythm is a particular poetic rhythm that is intended to mimic natural speech and is distinguished by its irregular patterns although it is distinct from free verse.

7 Hopkins died when he was only in his forties, but his contributions to poetry – particularly his experimentation and his use of sprung rhythm – continue to obscure today.

How should Sentence 6 be rewritten?

10

1 The legend of Billy the Kid, one of the most famous outlaws of the Wild West. 2 Allied Henry McCarty and William H. Bonney, Billy the Kid was a gunfighter who was rumored to have killed nearly two dozen men in 19th century America. 3 Friendly and charming, his status was relatively unknown until a price was put on his head in 1881 by the governor of New Mexico, than a territory. 4 He lived in New York City, Indiana, Kansas, and Arizona at various points within his life. 5 Billy the Kid’s various crimes include: murder, horse thievery, stealing firearms, and escaping from jail. 6 Many of these various crimes were committed as part of his membership in Old West gangs. 7 He was finally, captured and killed by Sheriff Pat Garrett in New Mexico in 1881.

How should Sentence 1 be rewritten?

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